


A short chat goes a long way

by saidie456



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO TAG THIS, M/M, hide and touka talk about feelings for kaneki, hide love ken, touka and ken are married, you get the drift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 13:57:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21303209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saidie456/pseuds/saidie456
Summary: It's Ichikas 3rd birthday and Hide's sat outside by himself. So he and Touka have a little chat about Hide's feelings.
Relationships: Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Kirishima Touka, Mentioned Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/ Nagachika Hideyoshi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 53





	A short chat goes a long way

**Author's Note:**

> yeah... this is not only my first tokyo ghoul fanfic ive written, but its the first one for a long while.  
so its short and sweet, nothing too special. i may add a second chapter, but i dont know... enjoy

Hide dug his shoes into the ground, rocking himself slowly on the swing set. The party was in full swing now, no pun intended, but he didnt quite feel like joining them.

Ichicka was 3 today, and it was Kaneki who insisted on having a party for her. Inviting everyone and their neighbour into their small house. Touka had to take over the guest list at this point, after Kaneki tried to invite every member of the white suits, leaving touka to put kaneki in charge of the food. Hide was put in charge of decorations, he didnt know why, he wasn't exactly good at that stuff. I mean, Hinami was there, and so was Mado and Amon, either one of them could have done it. But he guessed they asked him to do that just so he didnt feel left out.

From the swing set, he had a pretty good view of the living room, where most the party was going on, and it was dark out, so he could see them, without them realise he's sulking outside by himself. 

So here's the thing, Hide was not a jealous person by nature, but there was one person he was very jealous of. And he hated himself for it. 

Most people would look at Touka and consider Kaneki a lucky guy to have her. Sure she was a spitfire, and could certainly handle herself which scared some guys. But she was strong, honest and loyal to a fault. She really had grown up since the first time he met her. But for Hide, luck wasn't even a factor. They were always going to be together, the way it should be.

Even if it did hurt to watch sometimes.

The air got chillier as he sat there. He considered going back in, but something about the view of the living room turned him off the idea. So he carried on sitting there, going over his secret thoughts.

He looked up to the sky, all the clouds had disappeared from the sky, and he was left with a sky full of start. It was beautiful, Hide thought.

"Hey", Hide looked up to see Touka walking towards him. 

"Oh hey Touka, hows it hanging" he smiled at her, raising a hand in greeting.

"You know, you're missing a pretty good party in there" She stated as she sat herself down on the swing beside him. 

"Yeah, sorry. You know me though, life of the party, I didn't want to up-show anyone so I thought I'd give them all a chance by coming out here for a bit". He huffed a laugh at himself, grinning wildly at Touka. He'd gotten used to faking this particular smile.

"Is that so" she smirked knowingly back at him, using her 'mom' tone they all came to know and love. They both sat there in silence, swinging slowly for what felt like an eternity. 

It was Ichikas third birthday, and you'd think Touka would want to be in there with her, but I guess some parties are too much for some people, even someone as strong as Touka. Hide smiled to himself at the thought, finding it funny somehow. He assumed she just wanted some fresh air, so he figured he'd get out of her hair. He can always find somewhere else to sulk if he needs to.

"Right, well I guess I-"

"So how long have you been in love with Kaneki"? Touka looked towards him.

"What"?!? He near enough squealed. Shooting out of his spot on the swing set, "he's my best friend, what makes you even ask that question"? The look of red hot dread covered his entire face. Thank God it was too dark to actually tell.

"Sit down, it was only a question" She huffed and leaned back in her swing, staring at the same stars Hide had not only 5 minutes ago. "I was only curious, I've seen the way you look at him". She turned back to face him, watching him like shes trying to study him as he sits back down. "I'm not mad" she encourages him. "I mean, I can't exactly blame you".

Hide didn't know what to say. He didn't know what brought on that question or even why she was asking that kind of question now, at her daughters birthday party. Needless to say, he was shocked, and a little scared. "You've been hanging round Saiko too much, she's always going on about those romance mangas she reads" he laughs, trying to cover up the awkwardness. Suddenly, the floor became the most interesting thing to watch.

"Well then" Touka pauses, staring back up in thought. "What is it about him that you like"? Glancing back at him, she can see his eyes widened at the question. "Come on, there's got to be some things. Otherwise how else would you be friends" She smiled at him, encouraging the conversation she deemed they needed to have.

"Seriously Touka, I don't-"

"Hide"! 

Hide glanced to the side, Touka was staring intently at him back. She looked determined, and a little bit lost. "Please just talk to me" she begged.

It was now Hides' turn to lean back and appreciate the stars. "Things I like about Kaneki?", Hide asked himself out loud. As if to cement the question as something he had to face, and not run away from. "I guess I like how kind the guy is, and how much he cares for everyone. He's always putting other peoples needs above his own, even if he shouldn't". He spared a small glance towards her. "I like how he can get stuck into a book no matter where he is. Like he could be sat waiting for a bus and completely miss it because he wants to finish the chapter. I like how many 'tells' he has, you can tell just what he's thinking by his tells. And his face when he realises you know is hilarious. I like how hes kinda funny, not by telling jokes, but just him being him, and sometimes if you're lucky you can even catch him laughing at himself. But he'll stop if he thinks someone saw". He watches down at his feet, digging his shoes back into the sand. "I like how he has his coffee black, even when he was human. He said it was because he read somewhere that black coffee made you appear more manly. I always found that funny. I like how, even though he doesn't care much for games, when I do get him playing one, he always enjoys the simple games the best, because he can pretend he's good at them. I like how whenever we would go to 'Big Girls' together, the waitresses would openly flirt with him because of how flustered he got. They thought it was cute". He stopped swinging, and huffed in defeat. 

Of course he knew why he liked kaneki, he's just never talked about it out loud before. Meaning he never realised how easy it was to talk about him.

"Ok" Hide heard a whisper from his left. "So I'll ask again. How long have you been in love with him"?

With one long blow of air out of his nose, he knew there was no point denying it to her anymore, especially considering how he practically outed himself with all those reasons. "I guess I never really knew when I started to love him" he began to swing again, "I just know I love him now, and I have done for a while". He looked over at Touka, who was staring into the house in front of them. Hide plunged his feet into the ground to stop the swing, as he stared too. Through the window they could see Ichika with a ball in her hand, being chased by all the other kids. They were laughing and jumping around as all the adults stood by and watched, smiling. They both watched the party carry on with neither of them there, and no one noticing. And with the conversation they were having, neither of them cared.

"You know Touka", Hida started, "Despite everything, when I heard you and Kaneki got married, I was sad. Not because I wanted him or anything like that, but because I missed it. I would have killed to seen the look on his face when he married you, the happiest day of his life. I wanted to be there, to do all that best friend stuff you're meant to do at weddings, you know. Talk him through it, offer him a drink, make sure he looks good, hands him a tissue when he starts balling when he sees his wife walk down the aisle. All that good stuff".

"But I missed it, and minus the doves, and the dragon and all the stuff that happened after, the wedding went really well from what I've heard. So I wasn't needed in the end". He looked down sadly again. "That felt like a kick in the balls to be honest. I know it's selfish, but I guess I really wanted to feel useful to him. Like he needed me for something. Even if it was for a short time, I would have treasured that moment". Peering around at Touka, Hide watched as a tear formed from her eye, and ran down her cheek.

"Oh what the hell am i sayin" he tried to lighten the mood. "It's a party, lets go back and enjoy". He stood up to walk towards the house, avoiding her line of sight until he felt her grab his hand.

"You know women get emotional when they're pregnant right". She half joked, wiping the tear with the sleeve of her free hand. "You know I'm not normally stuck for words, I'll tell people what I think and they can deal with it. But you, this... I don't know what to say". She stood up beside him, watching the house. "I'm confused, and I think I need to think about this more before I know what to say. But thank you for telling me". She held onto him with both hands, smiling sadly up at him through teary eyes. "I hate these stupid emotional outbursts. They make me feel like I'm a hormonal teenager again". With one sharp breath in, she sandwich slapped her face to wake herself up and bring her back to the present and out of the moment. "Come on, let's go back inside. Everyone will start to wonder where we are".

Hide watched as she started to walk off towards the house, hugging herself tightly against the cold.

"Hey Touka" he called, she stopped, not bothering to turn around. "Do you love him"?

He'd never seen someone move so fast as she span around, "Of course I do!" she loudly stated, looking almost angry that he'd even ask that.

"Then that's all I need. for the record, I would never do anything about it. I just want to see him happy, and you, Ichika and the baby, make him happy. I just thought you'd wanna know that".

Touka turned back around, much slower this time, glancing back at him. "I know you wouldn't. I just wish the situation was different Hide. Because you deserve to be happy too. I just wish there was some way..." she sighed. And with that, she carried on walking back towards the back door. He stood there in the cold as he watched Ichika see her mom walk into the room, running up to her to hug her legs. As Kaneki walked over to her, placing a hand on her belly as he kissed her cheek. He watched as he said something to her, and after a second or two of them gesturing, he dissipated from his line of sight from the window. Touka looked back out of the window, not being able to see Hide in the dark, but knowing he was still out there, holding ichaka in her arms, smiling sadly. The sound of the back door opening awoke him from his thoughts.

"Hey Hide, why don't you come back inside, it's cold out here" Kaneki called from the back door.

"Aww come on man. I was having a bet with Touka, seeing which one of us could last longer in the cold" Hide grinned, shoving his hand in his pockets and walking towards the door. Hiding any evidence of the conversation that had just happened.

"Oh, speaking of Touka, she said you wanted to talk to me" Kaneki pointed out, holding open the door for Hide to walk in.

"She did, did she". Looking through the kitchen and into the living room, he could see Touka talking to Hinami and Ayato, probably about their wedding. "You are cruel Touka" he whispered to himself.

"What was that"? Kaneki asked, coming up behind him.

"Oh it was nothing dude, come on. Ichikas only 3 once, you don't wanna miss any more of it by talking to little old me" Hide smiled at Kaneki, prompting him to go and enjoy his family.


End file.
